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PastPoop7/29/2003-Damned Blue Collared TweekingOf all the jobs I've ever had the ones I've despised the most were working in food service. I've done it all, fast food, greasy spoons, and they all are the mires of the working class. Unfortunately, when you're a teenager that's about the only job you can get. Of course my introduction wasn't exactly normal, nor were the circumstances, and perhaps that instilled some bitterness, but even if I had wanted most of these jobs, I'm under the impression I'd still have hated them.When I was 15, I was arrested for blowing up mailboxes with huge packs of M80's. The judge at my hearing fined me for all repairs and 24 hrs of communtiy service. the sentence was light considering I pleaded guilty, but there was a further humiliation. Since I was nearly 16, He required me to take a job to handle the $1500 fine. I was pissed. I was hoping he'd just throw me in juvie again and I pleaded that'd I'd learned my lesson. No dice, I was forced to work. My first job was with Jack-In-The-Crack. They hired me part time, and I was to learn register, prepping, and drive thru. Since I was already hating this gig, and hoping to be fired to get out of my debt, I was hardly employee of the year. They put me on drive thru the first day. Within 2 hours I had my first write up for ordering Taco Bell items to customers, yelling at them, and for playing with the squealch dial on the pack. I was impressed. Day two was hardly better. They put me on register. I fucked up every order, overcharged too many times, and kept lines a mile long. The worst was when the lunch rush was in full swing, I told an ordering customer I needed a smoke and left him in mid order. They finally put me on prepping, and that was a disaster. I was being overseen by the assistant manager who was the most mellow bastard I've ever met. I could've called this guy's momma a whore and he would've said that was super. He put me on burgers, and I learned quick, so he let me go. When the orders came in though and I was alone, I started piling on the mayo, overcooking the burgers, and basically fucking up. I told the melancholy guy I was better on drive thru. He put me back there on day three. I remained on drive thru for the next three days. I read comics while everyone buzzed around me. I never changed the soda syrup boxes, People who wanted water coming thru the drive thru got carbonated water, and basically I was an asshole. One memorable customer started crying cause I told her she really didn't need to eat any cheeseburgers judging by her body cheese. That earned me, my 3rd actually, write up. I carried on like this, belching and farting in front of customers, not using hairnets or caps, not washing my hands after I dug into the crack of my ass or scratched my balls, and just being a cock. However, by day six I was tired. The manager was too much of a weenie to fire me, and nobody really cared that I was a fuck up. It was unreal. So, I decided to go out with a bang.... The sixth day was really busy, and nature called. During the lunch rush I had to poop. So, like a dutiful soldjah, I took the headset into the crapper. While I dumped my loaf, I took orders. Even worse, I clicked the PA switch and the whole fucking restaurant heard this guy ordering his jumbo jacks while I audibly forced out my brown baby boys. Predictably that ended my first real job. The manager even at this incident was still acting like he was on quaaludes. So it goes. Of course, I had many more food service jobs later, where my insidious ways grew to heights even worse. I finally realized 5 years after my first job, that I was probably not restaurant materiel. I'm a slow learner. Anyway, I'm bored and my testicles hurt, so I bid you adieu, and remain as always.... -Insidious_T |
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